I created this blog first and foremost, as a means for me to release years of anguish, pain, frustration, guilt, and embarrassment! I also thought i may be a means for others that have and are, and will perhaps continue to struggle with their sexual addictions. Many men and women have had battles with pornography and other sexual addictions before so it really isn’t such a big deal, unless…..you were like me, IN MINISTRY.
I started ministry with an addiction to pornography. I worked and functioned in ministry with an addiction to pornography until I became tired of the “pressure to be perfect”. I was able to “hide” behind the bible for years. Working in and around the church was a great cover up because the more visible I became, the more people thought I was dedicated to God, and I was….I was just as dedicated to my addiction to pornography as well. As long as I could preach and cause an uproar in the house, the less discernment was being used on my life. As long as I was hitting that Low “B” on my five string bass and grooving in the pocket, my life wasn’t questioned. I had to look at myself in the mirror and I finally got to a place where I actually hated what I saw. Had everyone fooled, but myself. Prophesying and prophesying accurately, but couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel room to be alone and pull the laptop out.
My story is like so many others, I just decided not to hold mine any longer. I’m hoping that from the nakedness that I’m willing to show, you will be able to keep your clothes on.
Blessings to you!